Guys, have you ever had those moments when you're constantly worried about something bad that might not even happen? You keep thinking and get more and more anxious, but in the end, you find that those things never actually occurred. Today, let's talk about how to deal with this annoying "anticipatory worry". The following are some super practical methods shared by an author named Beth Kurland on January 23, 2025. These methods incorporate the amazing element of mindfulness, so let's check them out!
I once had high hopes for a cruise trip. After boarding the cruise ship, I was strolling around the deck excitedly, planning my activities for the next few days. Suddenly, I heard an announcement on the public address system saying that there might be a storm in the waters ahead, which could affect the itinerary, and the situation was still being closely monitored. As someone who hates having my plans disrupted and gets seasick easily, I panicked the moment I heard this news.
Seeing the passengers around me start to whisper and the crew members bustling around with serious expressions, my heart leaped into my throat. In fact, at that time, the sea was calm and the ship was sailing steadily. However, I was already consumed by anxiety. I kept thinking about what if we really encountered a storm, whether I would get extremely seasick, and if this trip would be ruined. What's more, this anxiety lingered with me. But then, after a while, the announcement came that the storm had bypassed us and the itinerary would not be affected. Eventually, this cruise trip turned out to be a really enjoyable one, and I had a great time.
This experience made me realize that our minds sometimes like to scare ourselves. It's similar to the distinction between pain and suffering in Buddhist teachings. Pain is something that actually happens in front of us, while suffering, in many cases, is fabricated by our minds. We worry and speculate needlessly. Just like this cruise trip, if we really encountered a storm, with the ship swaying violently and me feeling seasick and uncomfortable, that would surely be disappointing, which is real pain. But the source of my anxiety this time was just an uncertain piece of news. Nothing bad had actually happened in reality. Thinking it over, many of us are like this. We often worry ourselves sick about things that may never come to pass. Even if something does happen, we tend to "add more drama" before, during, and after the event, making our suffering worse.
Here comes the concept of mindfulness. Mindfulness is like a pair of sharp "eyes" for our souls, allowing us to see our inner world more clearly. It's similar to mindfulness meditation. Both can help us distinguish the physical sensations we experience in the moment from the "stories" fabricated by our minds. When we enter a state of mindfulness, it's as if we're standing beside the stage of our inner selves, calmly watching various emotions and thoughts appear without being easily carried away by them. There was an interesting study on pain. Researchers found that people who often practice mindfulness (similar to mindfulness meditation), when exposed to pain during experiments, showed increased activity in the parts of the brain that process the sensory experience of pain.
However, the areas of the brain responsible for thinking, evaluation, memory, and pain - related emotions became less active. With less subjective judgment about the pain and less anticipation of it, the research participants reported less intense and less unpleasant pain. Moreover, this kind of mindfulness training is also very helpful in relieving anxiety and depression, making our mood more relaxed. So, how can we apply these methods in our daily lives?
Here are a few tips that incorporate the element of mindfulness. Whether you've tried mindfulness meditation or not, these can help you reduce the anxiety caused by uncertainty.
Using the techniques of mindfulness, we should often ask ourselves: What is actually happening right now? What is my mind wandering about? Sometimes, it can be helpful to take a piece of paper and divide it into two columns, writing down the things that are actually happening and the things our minds are imagining respectively. This way, we can see things more clearly. For example, let's say you're on a cruise ship and you hear about the possible storm. In the "actual situation" column, you could write: "I'm on the cruise ship. The ship is sailing smoothly for now. I'm a bit worried after hearing the news about the possible storm." In the "mind's imagination" column, it might say: "The ship will definitely rock violently. I'll be seasick and throw up horribly. This trip is completely ruined.
Everyone will panic during the storm." After writing, with a mindful mindset, step back and "observe" these two columns. You'll find that there's a big difference between the actual situation (based on facts) and what your mind is imagining (based on your subjective thoughts and worries). This "mindful distance" is like when you were caught in a heavy rain but now you can stand under the eaves and watch the rain. Although the rain is still falling, it's not as scary. Through mindfulness, we can view our emotions and thoughts more objectively and avoid being controlled by them.
If you encounter a problem, don't panic. We have ways to deal with it. First, try to use mindfulness to perceive the current situation. Notice the reactions of your body and the fluctuations of your emotions. For example, when you start to feel the ship sway slightly on the cruise, before getting anxious, stop for a moment, take a few deep breaths, and quietly feel the nervousness in your heart. Observe whether you've started imagining terrifying scenarios like the ship capsizing and yourself falling into the sea, and the fear that comes with it. If there's a way to solve the problem, do it right away. For instance, if you start to feel seasick, ask the crew for some seasickness medicine or find a quiet and comfortable place to lie down and rest. These actions can make us feel more at ease and reduce anxiety. While taking these actions, continue to practice mindfulness.
Focus on every movement you make, such as the movement of your hand when taking the medicine and the sensation of swallowing. This can help us stay in the moment of solving the problem instead of being overwhelmed by anxious emotions. However, there are some situations that we can't change immediately. In this case, acceptance is crucial. Through mindfulness, we can understand the meaning of acceptance more deeply. Acceptance doesn't mean we like the situation or think it's okay. It means we stop struggling against things that are beyond our control and stop torturing ourselves. Just like when the cruise ship encounters a storm and can't move forward for the moment, instead of pacing restlessly in the cabin, we can calm down and use mindfulness to feel the unease and anxiety during the waiting time. Observe the resistance in our hearts. When we face it in this way, we'll find that our hearts gradually calm down and we're no longer completely controlled by anxiety.
3. See Through the "Tricks" of Your Mind and Don't Be Manipulated
Still taking the cruise trip as an example, with the help of mindfulness techniques, we can be more aware of our psychological changes. It's normal to feel a bit worried when there might be a storm. But if you keep thinking that the ship will sink and you'll be in danger, it will make your already nervous mood even worse. When such thoughts arise, we enter the mindfulness mode. Watch these thoughts flash through your mind without judgment, simply being aware of their existence. Then remind yourself to return to reality. It's normal to feel a bit worried, but those "disaster scenarios" fabricated by your mind may not happen. Just like my cruise trip, through mindfulness, I realized that I was extremely anxious just because of an uncertain storm news, and many of my worries were unnecessary. After realizing this, I tried to relax and stop dwelling on it. In the end, not only did I enjoy the trip smoothly, but I also had a great time.
Through continuous mindfulness practice, when we can spot these "tricks" of our minds and stop being manipulated by them, even if we still feel a bit anxious, we won't be completely controlled by it. We can face various situations in life more easily with the awareness cultivated through mindfulness, making every challenge seem less daunting.
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