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Invest in Your Relationship: Proven Rituals for Building a Lasting, Satisfying Partnership

While it may sound somewhat robotic or calculative, the fact is that a successful relationship, like any worthwhile endeavor, requires regular investment of time and effort. After all, even when someone wins the lottery, they've still had to invest in buying the ticket. Similarly, couples who come to me complaining about their relationship falling apart often reveal they have made little to no real investment in nurturing their partnership.



Are you investing in your relationship?

For over 40 years, Dr. John Gottman and his team of researchers have studied thousands of couples at the Gottman Institute Relationship Research Lab. Through in-depth analysis of interactions, surveys and physiological measures, they've uncovered the keys to developing a strong, stable relationship. And one finding stands out among the rest - what separates satisfied couples from the dissatisfied is how they invest their time.


The Magic 5 Hours Week

Specifically, Dr. Gottman's longitudinal research showed couples who were happily married for 15+ years spent an average of 5 hours per week engaging in what he termed "couple time" - undivided moments of quality connection without other distractions like phones, TV or kids. Curious what these magic minutes entailed, he developed the "Magic 5 Hour" framework encompassing 5 targeted weekly rituals.


While 5 hours may seem like a lofty goal, Dr. Gottman was quick to point out these moments don't need to be consecutive or over-the-top. Satisfied duos found seamless ways to incorporate brief episodes throughout each day. From morning check-ins over breakfast to bedtime conversations, their relationships thrived on intention over extravagance.


Every little bit adds up

Let's take a deeper look at each pillar of Dr. Gottman's prescription for relationship well-being:


Partings/Departures (2 minutes daily): Taking just 120 seconds to warmly say goodbye sets the right emotional tone for time apart, reinforcing your partner's importance.

Greetings/Arrivals (20 minutes daily): Carving out quality questions time shortly after reunions to share stresses in a non-judgmental way fosters intimacy through understanding.

Physical Affection (5 minutes daily): Oxytocin-boosting touches like hugs and kisses create feelings of safety, trust and bonding above sexuality alone.

Words of Affirmation (5 minutes daily): Complimenting each other's strengths and character builds self-esteem within the relationship.

Weekly Dates (2 hours weekly): Protected distraction-free one-on-one experiences outside the home cultivate playfulness and new shared memories.


By sprinkling these simple rituals into each day, partners develop lasting satisfaction through wisdom of habit. So invest a little effort to reap the lifelong rewards of a thriving relationship with Dr. Gottman's proven guidance. Your future self will thank you! 


Ready to put these proven relationship-building rituals into practice? If you and your partner are looking to deepen your connection and create a more satisfying, fulfilling partnership, I'm here to help!


As a relationship coach, I offer tailored guidance to couples of all stages, drawing from the latest research to develop customised strategies that work for your unique situation. Take the first step towards a healthier, happier relationship - schedule a complimentary consultation call today, and let's get started on your path to relationship success.


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